It's what's LEFT when you're tired of being WRONG.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

A modest proposal

I am not a rich person, but I would like to be. I like rich people. They
work hard, they save their money, and they are successful. Rich people also
own and run the businesses that provide most of the jobs in this country. I
aspire to these ideals, and I respect those who embody them. I do NOT like
people who take advantage of the system, who ask for handouts, and who want
to raise the taxes of the people who have worked hard for their success.
Taxes are not going to be raised for any legitimate purpose. They are going
to be raised because the government is a massively bloated leech that only
knows how to grow and consume more and more. In the last four years, we
have not seen a President who wants a "balanced" approach. He SAYS he wants
a "balanced" approach, but what balanced means to him is, we are going to
take money in the form of taxes away from the side that IS successful, and
we are going to give it to the other side that, for whatever reason, is NOT
successful. We are approaching a tipping point, the never-ending tax and
spend cannot continue.

Therefore, I would like to make a proposition. I call for a temporary show
of force from the wealthy and successful people in America. Show the powers
that be that it is YOUR money that keeps the economy afloat, not the heavy
hand of the government. It is not an entirely simple thing that I would
suggest, but I think if enough successful Americans participated, a SERIOUS
point would be made. It may sound ridiculous, but here is my plan.

Go to the store and buy a safe. A big, secure safe. Have it installed in
your home, in a location that can be locked down adequately. Have your
security system updated to protect this area, and install additional locks
and gates if necessary. Then, go to the bank, withdraw all of your money,
and put it into your safe. Go to the brokerage, cash in your securities,
cash the check, and put this into your safe. Cash in any bonds that you
have, and put this money into your safe. Put your credit cards into the
safe as well. Limit your purchasing to the absolute necessities, and if you
do need to buy anything, buy in the most limited quantity feasible. Now,
lock the safe and go watch TV or whatever it is you like to do to relax. Do
this for one month. While you are sitting and watching TV, if you know any
politicians, or know anyone who does know any politicians, call them up and
tell them that YOU are going to use a "balanced" approach. You are going to
keep what's yours, and let other people keep what's theirs, and you're going
to do this for a while. Now wait, I would suggest one month to start.

By doing this, you will participate in an almost instantaneous, entirely
reversible halt to the American economy. There will be no loans. There
will be no money in the banks. The trucks and trains will stop,
construction will stop, paychecks will stop, nearly everything will stop.
The government will scramble, emergency stockpiles will be tapped, there
will be utter panic from all corners of the country. Then, just as calmly
as you cashed your accounts and investments and placed the cash into your
safe, go back to the bank, go back to the brokerage, and reinvest your
money. Then pick up the phone again, call your politician friend, and let
them know that there's plenty more where that came from, and you won't
hesitate to pull your money out of the economy again if you hear any more
talk about "asking the rich to pay a little bit more".

Suddenly, almost like magic, a new respect will emerge for America's
wealthy. You will no longer be looked at as evil and greedy. You will be
looked at as the beneficent hand that feeds, and that it is at YOUR whim
that the American economy rolls along, not that of the politicians or the
greedy poor who want something for nothing. A new respect will emerge for
the power of money, YOUR money. Almost as quickly, we will hear politicians
saying things like "we need to cut spending". What a great sound THAT will
be.

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