Happy New Year

Who really knows what's happening with light bulbs? Are we going to lose the beloved 100W incandescent light bulb on January 1st 2012, or not? Nobody seems to know. As a result of this tumultuous period that we now must endure (thanks to the moronic liberal left) as touches this familiar and comfortable staple of home lighting, brought to us by the late, great Thomas A. Edison, I will be changing my routine and also preparing for the future.

First, I have been stockpiling incandescent bulbs, for the terrible day when we may no longer legally be able to purchase them. I have at a minimum 500 light bulbs in my stores, and hope to bring this much closer to 1,000 bulbs in this interim grey period in which nobody knows what's going to happen. I estimate that 1,000 is very nearly the number of bulbs I will need for the rest of my lifetime.

Next, I am going to be replacing every single CFL that I currently use in my home with incandescents , just because I can, just to be a thorn in the side of stupid liberals who dare to invade my privacy. I will indiscriminately dispose of the CFLs, just because I can. Going forward, I will use only incandescent bulbs, of exclusively the highest wattage possible in each fixture, just to use the maximum amount of energy, which I happen to pay for out of MY OWN POCKET.

Finally, I plan to create some sort of lighting fixture that will burn at least 2 incandescent bulbs -- 24 hours a day, 365 days per year, forever -- as a sort of eternal flame to the memory of Thomas A. Edison. For this, I will establish an independent store of bulbs of various kinds, so that I never have to worry about running out of necessary bulbs. I will acquire these bulbs through various avenues, including garage sales, estate sales, and other miscellaneous places. These bulbs will vary throughout time, but will always be two incandescent bulbs. If somehow it is possible for me to arrange it, I will also establish a permanent legacy of some sort that will keep an incandescent bulb lit at my gravesite for eternity. For the rest of my life, probably through 2040 or so, and hopefully for much longer than this, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, at all times, remember that somewhere, my eternal living remembrance to the incandescent bulb will continue to shine brightly, IN RESPONSE to the presumption that I will bow to the liberal left's will, and as a reminder that someday, we may return to the freedom of a country that doesn't presume to tell it's citizens what sort of light bulbs they may burn in their homes.